Yesterday I eves dropped on a conversation. I couldn’t help it. I went out to eat alone, and while sitting on the restaurant patio munching my salad, I noticed a young couple a few feet away. Neither wore wedding rings so I figured they were dating.
She had dark skin, long dark hair, and deep brown eyes. She looked like she was about thirty. She wore jeans and high heels, and a flattering sky-blue top accentuated her tiny waist. She was perfectly made up. Pink colored her full lips.
He leaned toward her and tenderly called her “Baby.” She wasn’t amused because he had said something that rubbed her the wrong way: “You used to look younger.” I could tell from his tone that he had no ill intent; he was just making an innocent observation. Didn’t we all used to look younger? This comment came on the heels of another one in which he praised her beauty. But it didn’t matter. His second comment stuck; the first one didn’t. Her body language revealed her deflated spirit and that he was just a feet away from the dog house. He verbally scrambled to earn back favor. “C’mon, Baby. C’mon. I didn’t mean it that way.”
I wasn’t exactly sure what “that way” meant, but I did have a hunch this beautiful young woman was struggling with insecurity about her looks, and that she had been busy comparing herself to others or to our unrealistic cultural standard of beauty. Because I have been there and am familiar with this struggle, I wanted to help–so I moved from eaves dropping to butting in.
“Would you like a referee?” I chuckled.
“Sure! I think we need one,” the young man said.
“Can I offer some words of encouragement?” I asked.
They both nodded.
I looked straight at the woman and smiled.
“In our society, we hear so many messages that we have to look like a super model; we have to have flawless skin, a perfect body—and we believe that aging is awful. But it’s not.
“Here is what God showed me about aging and losing physical beauty: My fading physical beauty isn’t passing away forever because I am just passing through. I will get a little older each day until I die, but I will be young again in heaven. So you see, if you are in Christ all this worrying we do about aging doesn’t matter at all, because we are just temporarily losing physical beauty. We aren’t really losing anything at all.
“Since this is true, shouldn’t we focus on that which we can lose and never get back? We should focus on loving people, on being kind and generous and making an impact in others’ lives. Because, people don’t honestly care if you have flawless skin, are a little overweight, or if you don’t look like a supermodel. Granted, some people are shallow. But what matters most to your family and friends and the people who care about you is how they feel when they are with you. They care about how you make them laugh, love them, and make them feel good about themselves. They care that you give them hope.
The problem is that if we are obsessed with beauty and obsessed with losing it, we can’t love others like we should. Self-forgetfulness enables us to love well because love serves; self-absorption is the enemy of true love.
I offered a few more words and then said, “Thanks for letting me share with you.”
As I walked away I thought, We compare ourselves because we are afraid we aren’t enough, and we compare ourselves because we want to prove our value and significance. But could we truly be any more valuable or significant? The God of the Universe, simply through His love, has given us tremendous value and significance!
Do you worry too much about aging or how you look? I invite you to confess this fear to God and get His perspective on how beautiful you are to Him today.
“Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” (Proverbs 31:30)
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