I once spoke with a woman who told me that she had been badly mistreated by a family member. No doubt, the injustice she experienced was very hurtful, and it has created a mess of lies in her life that have been very difficult to untangle.

As she cried, I listened to her story and prayed to the Lord for compassion and wisdom. Then she asked, “Shana, why won’t God deliver me from the bitterness I feel? Why am I still struggling with hatred in my heart after all these years?” Again, I prayed for God’s insight. Then, she said something profound that hit me hard: “That man ruined my life.”

There it is, I thought. That’s the reason she is still struggling with bitterness. Then the Lord gave me an encouraging perspective to share with my new friend.

“What happened to you was wrong,” I said. “It should have never occurred. It was traumatizing and it was a violation of your beauty, value, and boundaries. However, I encourage you to pray over this belief that he has ruined your life. This man has not ruined your life. But if you believe he has, you have given him the power to rob your life from you.”

Have you been mistreated? Has someone deeply wounded you? Listen up, friend. If you believe you have been hurt so badly that your life is destroyed, it will be impossible to forgive. Not only that, but if you believe your future has been stolen from you, you won’t feel you can fulfill God’s purpose for you.

But here is some fantastic news: When you choose to believe that God can use any circumstance for your good and His glory (Romans 8:28), then you will be able to let go of the pain and nothing will be able to stop you from moving forward in God’s plans for you. You will be confident that the God who used the terror and injustice of the cross is the same God who can redeem the injustice done to you. Then, just like Joseph, you will be able to say, “You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good.” (Genesis 50:20). That’s some great news!

Remember that your biggest heartbreak can be your biggest gift. God wants to redeem what happened to you to bless others and glorify Him. Listen up. No one can destroy your destiny. God knew what would happen to you in advance; he knew what others would do to you—and he planned your calling and the works you will do for him before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 2:10).

Additional Resources

The Blueprint for Life eight week study will help you discover the life you were born to live in five areas- spiritually, relationally, financially, physically, and career! The study contains a workbook and ten messages featuring Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Tony Evans, John Maxwell and others. Now available for digital download.  Click here to check it out!