My mama used to say, “You’ve got a bad case of the ‘I wants.’”
She wasn’t wrong. And if I’m honest, I still have them.

Back when Jordache, Gloria Vanderbilt, and Calvin Klein jeans were everything, my Levi’s never felt like enough. I always seemed to want what I didn’t have. The problem was my taste didn’t match my wallet.

As the years went on, the wants didn’t go away. They just grew up with me. What started with jeans turned into dreams about cars, houses, and a picture-perfect life. I worked hard. I stayed focused. And over time, it felt like it all came together.

A strong family. A beautiful home. Nice cars. A closet full of those jeans I used to want. I was even doing full-time ministry. It looked like everything had fallen into place.

God had been so good to me.

So good that He didn’t leave me there.

Looking back, I can see where I was stuck. I believed that if I worked hard, lived right, and loved God, life would turn out the way I wanted. I thought the good things in my life were proof of His approval.

Then cancer entered the story, and everything I believed got shaken.

I wanted God to heal me without medicine. He didn’t.

I wanted to avoid the pain and side effects. He didn’t.

I wanted answers for why it was happening. He stayed quiet.

It felt confusing at the time. But now I see it more clearly. God wasn’t ignoring me. He was doing something deeper.

He wasn’t giving me what I wanted. He was giving me what I needed.

I needed a faith that wouldn’t fall apart.

I needed endurance that could carry me through hard days.

I needed a kind of joy that didn’t depend on how I felt or what I owned.

Even now, I still have wants. I still look ahead and hope for good things. That hasn’t changed. But what I want most has shifted.

I want health. I want time. I want steady peace when life feels uncertain. I want to respond well when things don’t go the way I hoped. I want to grow into someone who trusts God no matter what.

More than anything, I want to stand before Him one day and be found faithful.

I’m not there yet. But I’ve come far enough to see this truth clearly. God uses trials to shape us. He uses pain to grow something strong inside us. And sometimes the greatest gift He gives is not answering our wants.

It’s meeting our needs.

So this is my prayer for you.

That God would give you what you truly need.
Even when it looks different than what you asked for.
Even when it comes through seasons you wouldn’t choose.

Because what He’s building in you is worth far more than anything you could want.

Additional Resources

The Blueprint for Life eight week study will help you discover the life you were born to live in five areas of you life: relational, spiritual, physical, financial, and career.  The study contains a workbook and ten audio messages featuring Andy Stanley, Louie Giglio, Tony Evans, John Maxwell and others.  Click here to check it out!